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Episode: 1
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Sinclair
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… |
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Sinclair seemed to be in deep thought about something, avoiding eye contact with Heathcliff who was looming over him.
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Heathcliff
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So what? You get my attention to just sit there not saying anything? |
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Sinclair
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Well… What I want to say is taking some thought to put it into words that, uhm, can accurately reflect how I feel.
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Sinclair
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For something like this… I don’t want to accidentally say the wrong thing. Not whenever I decide to tell everyone else, too.
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Heathcliff
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Suppose I can offer an ear if you get on with it, then. |
| Sinclair seemed almost to be trembling while he was piecing together his thoughts. The only indication of what he wanted to say was that it was important and personal. Not something for everyone to listen in on. |
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He practically dragged me and Heathcliff outside the bus to talk, but I don’t recall anything happening recently that would get him this worked up.
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…I wonder if not telling him about Demian was a mistake or not.
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Dante
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<You’re free to tell us anything, Sinclair. I wouldn’t want you to hide anything important if it means something to you.> |
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Sinclair
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...Thanks.
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Sinclair
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It’s just been a long time coming and… I don’t know how I feel about myself right now.
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Sinclair
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Even before I joined Limbus Company I didn’t feel like I had actually grown up at all. I didn’t feel like a whole person, a whole adult.
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Sinclair
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Everyone calls me kid, or acts dismissive of me…
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Sinclair
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And to be honest, it’s been kinda just more of the same here… For a while at least.
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Sinclair
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But... After seeing Gregor earn the slightest respect of the other Sinners, I thought I might have had a chance at being seen as something more than a sniffling coward.
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Sinclair
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..And with the realization that I’m… I’m a real person, with a real, beating heart, I’ve…
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Sinclair
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I didn’t want to bottle up who I actually was inside…
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Sinclair fidgeted with his hands, and it was obvious he was nervous.
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Sinclair
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...I know it isn’t exactly taboo or unusual, or at least I don’t think it is anymore…
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Sinclair
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But… Heathcliff, Dante… I’m…
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Sinclair
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I think I’m, uhm, I'm gay… In some way. Homosexual, or something like that...
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I looked over at Heathcliff who’s face was frozen in shock.
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Heathcliff
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You- You like blokes? That’s… |
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Heathcliff
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That’s weirdly predictable, comin’ from you, I’ll give ya that.
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Heathcliff
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Never thought I’d see you ever come out of that closet, lad. But I guess I can't help but be proud of ya.
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Sinclair let out a huge sigh of relief before looking at me, expectantly.
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I don't think I ever really even considered any difference between a heterosexual relationship or homosexual one. And it's not like I would consider myself either of those, anyways.
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Dante
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<Of course I support you, Sinclair. I don’t think that same-sex relationships are different or wrong at all..> |
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Dante
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<Not that I really have a frame of reference of what really constitutes a relationship in the romantic or sexual sense, of course. But I know it took a lot of bravery to tell us.>
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| I gave him a thumbs up and he seemed happy at that. |
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Sinclair
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T-Thanks a lot, both of you. |
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Sinclair
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I have to admit though… There’s a reason I felt more empowered to be myself, in a way. |
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Sinclair
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It’s embarrassing, but… I think I can, uhm, save those details for later when I tell everyone else, too. |
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I always thought that Sinclair and Demian’s relationship had deeper ties than what I’ve only vaguely observed or heard about.
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But I wasn’t even entirely sure if I was reaching the right conclusion.
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As Sinclair exchanged brief, awkward hugs with me and Heathcliff and boarded back onto Mephistopheles, I did wonder about the sexualities of the other Sinners.
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Not really a conversation any of us really have, but maybe it would do us some good to talk about it.
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Hong Lu waves at Sinclair as he sees him climb aboard.
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Hong Lu
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Aha, there you are, Sinclair! I was hoping to speak to you~
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The unmistakable blush on Sinclair's face at that moment told me more than I could have possibly picked up on before.
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